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Thursday, June 9, 2011

One very thankful Thursday...

Today is just a regular ol' day...nothing out of the ordinary has happened, but I feel know that God has been tugging on my heart today.  Sometimes I let the little things bother me, stress me out, wear me down, you know what I mean.  Why do I do that?  Why do I allow myself to give in to those things and worry or have pity parties?  I know why.  It's because I'm imperfect, and I need the Lord every single minute of every day. 

Here's how I know God was speaking to me.  While at work this morning, I started feeling very sick....story of my life these days.  As most of you know, this pregnancy hasn't been an easy one.  I've had nausea in some form or fashion every single day since I hit the 5 week mark.  I've also been bruising pretty badly.  In case you forgot, I have to give myself 2 shots daily because of my antibody problem.  No big deal until I go home to wrestle and play with my little man who is getting more active by the day.  When he bumps my belly, it really hurts. Over the past few weeks, I've really been down b/c of the way I feel and how hard this has been on me.  But, after today, I refuse to remain in this state of mind. 

As I propped my feet up on my desk and leaned my chair back to try to get comfortable and find some relief, I grabbed my I-phone to find something to keep my mind off feeling bad.  I started reading a few friend's blogs and was led to several that I had never visited before.  One family was in the process of adopting a baby from Ethiopia and had been waiting on their baby for over 2 years.  Another family was grieving over the loss of one of their twin girls to spinal meningitis.  Another was struggling with the long, agonizing road of recurrent miscarriage, something I know about all too well. 

Suddenly, I noticed tears streaming down my cheeks, and I all could do was pray for these families. I immediately went back in time and felt the despair and fear of not ever having a baby of my own. Then, the conviction came.... I sat here feeling sorry for myself because why?  Nausea?  Seriously, Marci, get a grip!  God has given me a beautiful gift.  I'm carrying a second baby... a second gift from God.  Three years ago, I was terrified that I'd never be a mom, and here I am complaining about feeling sick.  Shame on me!  I quickly started counting my blessings and thanking God for each one. 

Of course, I immediately started thinking about the love of my life, my precious Manning, and what a blessing he truly is.  I can never thank God enough for him.  Words can't express how much I love that child!  His hugs, slobbery kisses, hearing him say "momma", and his precious smile make me happier than anything else in the world!  I'm so very thankful to God that I have one happy, healthy baby boy and another precious baby on the way, and I am going to do my best to embrace this sickness and focus on the end result. God is good ALL the time!

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